practical steps that help you understand what life demands

when you feel like you’re falling behind in life

there was a time when i believed life had a linear timeline. . .

graduate. get the job. fall in love. move to a city that makes your life look interesting. and if you missed a step, or got delayed, or didn’t feel excited enough — something was wrong with you. everyone else seemed to be moving forward. starting companies. getting married. building perfect morning routines with matcha and soft light. and meanwhile, i was stuck in a loop of overthinking and emotional buffering, making endless “plans” that never made it past page two.

i thought life was a checklist. . .

but real life — the kind that actually matters, feels more like a slow bloom in the dark. messy. uncertain. out of sync with the timelines we thought we had to meet. and painfully honest. the more i tried to force clarity, the more stuck i became.

because here’s the truth: you don’t fix the feeling of falling behind by accelerating. you heal it by softening. and not in a self-help cliché kind of way. but in a real, quiet, come-sit-with-yourself-for-a-minute kind of way.

so if you’re in that place, in the in-between, in the fog, in the waiting room of your own life. not knowing what to pursue right now, here are the practices that helped me to feel like i belonged to my life again.

6 practical steps that help you understand what life demands, and how to manage it

1. let go of “supposed to”

you were never supposed to be married by 28.
you were never late to your purpose.
your timeline isn’t broken — it’s just yours.
write down all the things you think you “should have” done by now. and then forgive yourself for expecting a perfect performance in a world you’re still learning how to survive.

2. give your goals a softness test

are your goals fueled by longing, or by shame?
do you want them because they light you up or because they prove you’re enough?
rewrite one goal today with softness in mind. instead of “get fit,” try “feel stronger in my body.” instead of “make six figures,” try “feel proud of how i show up.” you’re allowed to want more just not from a place of self-hate.

3. practice existing without optimizing

not every moment has to be a stepping stone.
you can rest without earning it. you can walk without counting steps. you can cook without posting it. try doing one thing this week just because it feels good. you’ll be shocked by how deeply healing it is to stop performing.

4. talk to someone older who doesn’t care about clout

call your grandma. visit a neighbor. email an old mentor. ask them what mattered most at 30, 40, 60. you’ll start to realize, no one really had it figured out. and most people remember how they loved, not how they “achieved.”

5. protect the things that make you feel human

maybe it’s having solo-session with yourself. maybe it’s playing with your cat. maybe it’s long showers and slow breakfasts and going for drives with no destination. when you’re lost, rituals are what anchor you. don’t underestimate the sacred power of your small comforts.

6. unfollow the pressure

you don’t need more tons of motivation each day. you need a system that helps you become more of who you are, the better version you want to be. you need less shame content disguised as self-improvement. clean up your feed like you’re cleaning up your inner world. follow people who feel like a deep breath, not a race.

the truth is, most of us are just winging it. we scroll through other people’s highlight reels, try to reverse-engineer a sense of direction, and hope that if we keep busy enough, clarity will catch up. but it doesn’t work that way. your life doesn’t come with a map. it unfolds through detours, half-finished ideas, late-night feelings, and tiny brave choices that don’t look like much at first.

so no, i don’t have a magic formula to figure it all out. but i do know this: every time i’ve followed the weird pull, the quiet curiosity, the little thing that didn’t make sense but made me feel alive — i moved closer to a life that felt like mine.

and that’s all we’re really looking for, isn’t it?
not the perfect life.
just one that feels honest.
and a little bit magic.
even if no one else gets it.

🎁 a few special practices i’ve never shared publicly — the ones that never miss (just for you, the ones who are all in)